Lost Your Balance On A Tightrope
by Shawn's Pineapple
Summary: Like an avalanche, the events from the past ten years come crashing down on Jill, leaving her to wonder, if in the end, it'll ever be worth the struggle.


**Title:** Lost Your Balance On A Tightrope

**Author:** Shawn's Pineapple

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Resident Evil.

**Summary: **Like an avalanche, the events from the past ten years come crashing down on Jill, leaving her to wonder, if in the end, it'll ever be worth the struggle.

* * *

_"It's over."_

_"Yes."_

_"Finally..."_

Jill Valentine smiled slightly across at her long-time partner, Chris Redfield, an enormous weight lifted from her shoulders. She was over-thrilled, enthralled behind comprehension yet she was unable to do more than force a smile. Her entire body ached and her mind swirled and she had to use every last ounce of strength just to keep her eyes open. She was completely exhausted, physically and emotionally, and she wanted nothing more than to just go home.

_Home..., _she inwardly mused,_ it's been so long, is it even there?_

Staring into Chris' eyes, Jill saw happiness finally reflected there. Age showed around his eyes while cracks and creases lined his aging face. It didn't seem like that long ago when she and Chris, in this exact same situation, had shared the outlook of a better tomorrow, when she had seen the exact same look of hope shining there. That had been ten years ago, back when they actually believed that life could go on, and that it had all ended that nightmare-ish night back in July. Now, Jill knew better and she knew that Chris did too. It couldn't be over, it would _never_ be over...If this life had taught Jill anything, it was that there was always something bigger and scarier hiding behind the next corner.

But until then, she'd share a smile with her comrade even if her heart didn't feel it.

Two and a half hours later, after a very thorough debriefing at the BSAA West African Branch, the trio trudged into Sheva's small home on the outskirts of town. Sheva opened her home up to Chris and Jill, welcoming them as family. Sheva had offered them to stay as long as they wanted to but both Chris and Jill politely refused, informing their friend that they were needed back in the US. After a wardrobe change, Sheva letting Jill borrow something of hers, and a series of goodbye hugs, Jill and Chris thanked the young woman for everything and made their way to the airport.

The flight back was mostly quiet except for Chris' light snoring in the seat next to Jill. As soon as they had buckled in, the older man had gone out like a light. Jill knew poor Chris was exhausted; he'd gone on a grueling 48 hour, and then some, mission in search of her. Of course, the plan had been to go after Irving, but what pushed Chris and kept him going was the knowledge that _she_ was still out there, still alive. At that moment, Jill felt like a burden. Her best friend had passed out, tired in every possible sense, and all because he refused to give up looking for a ghost. And Jill Valentine felt like a ghost.

_I wonder_, Jill thought, her eyes roaming over Chris' sleeping form, _If you ever would've stopped looking for me. _Chris shifted slightly in his seat and Jill smiled, her heart re-affirming what she already knew. _Of course you wouldn't have._ She softly ran a hand through Chris' short hair. _If it had been you, I never would've stopped._

Suddenly, the smile faded from Jill's lips and she turned to glance out the window. _Chris could've been killed looking for me. His mission was over; he could've gone home. But no, he kept going...he just kept going._

Jill glanced down at the outfit Sheva had loaned her and saw the bruises and scratches that weren't concealed by the clothing and felt the ones that were. She didn't dare look at the large mark that was going to scar across her chest from the device Wesker had implanted there.

_Scars..._Solemnly, Jill's mind came to a realization_. So. Many. Scars. And not just physical..._

Gripping all the strength she had left, Jill forced herself to not cry. And just as her vision became blurry, her body completely shut down, her head lolling against Chris' broad shoulder as she fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** So, this was originally going to be a one-shot but it's probably going to end up being two or three chapters. There aren't really many stories (or many stories I've seen) that deal with how these characters really accept the situations they're thrown into. A person, any person, no matter how strong they seem to be, would eventually begin questioning "What if?" and breaking down if they were in Jill's shoes.


End file.
